Wednesday, September 29, 2010

CHOICES WE MAKE VS. DREAMS WE HAVE

Wasn't it it easy growing up with our parents decisions....
What we were wearing, eating, where we were going, with whom we were making friends...........
life almost free of choices, because our parents knew what was the best for us.
They still do know what is the best for us, but..................
we are old enough... ha ha ha..... to make our own choices and/or to ruin our own life if we want to..........
no one to blame for our choices...........
may be that's why sometimes we need an advice, so someone will be eventually responsible for our failures...... or disappointments....... or pain..........

Since this blog is about relationships, I would like to talk about our soulmate-lover-husband-boyfriend choices.

1st decision:
 Is he a right guy?
Should I date him?
Should I give him a chance?
Should I waste my time?
Is he a boy-friend material?
Does he have a potential to become my future husband?

I heard if "he is the one, this question won't pop up",
 really?!
People say: "if he is the one, you just automatically know it".
Well, that's a relieve.
We can scratch off the list a necessity making this choice.
We  won't have to take a sheet of paper and divide the list in two colons with "pluses" and "minuses" signs.
How many of us have ever done it?
My friends did. I have done it.

How much pressure on us to make this vital decision to commit.
"Commitment" - why is it so many letters.........
probably it is a very important word,
I feel like it is a heavy word,
stressful word.
Just lets think about it....
it means he is the one person for the rest of your life or for a pretty long period of time, even if you are going to break up in a month (but you are not planning on it, it is just life and everything might happen),
it is still a decision, it is a choice.

2nd decision:
What if after you are done with your "pluses" and "minuses" list, you are still confused and lost, and frustrated, and need help, and you have so many unanswered questions...
But there is no one to help, really, no one, because it is your life.

What if HE is everything (or almost everything you have ever dreamed of - sounds unreal already),
he is handsome, smart, funny, caring, understanding, loyal, loving, tender, no games, real, sweet, sexy, experienced, knows how to please you, knows how to love you, knows how to touch you, knows how to make you smile, knows how to make you happy,
BUT........
yeah, it is always a "but" or "the" but,
he is a simple, humble, regular guy, no fancy cars, no house on the beach, no fat accounts, no financial security,
BUT
he is crazy about you............

Guys, do not blame us for wanting and looking for, how would you say - "a rich guy" or "a rich husband", it is not about that.....
We are looking for security,
we are looking for headache free life,
money give freedom,
protection,
life free of financial bullshit,
with money we will look better for you,
with money we will cook better meals for you,
with money we can enjoy each other more not dealing with bills disaster,
we can spend more time with our kids,
 to have more time to take care of you,
to make your life easier.

It is not about marrying reach, it is an idea of security, idea of beautiful headache free relationships, idea of avoiding routine, idea of not struggling and surviving, idea of a better future for kids.
A man with money is a secure man, established man, confident man, smart man, usually intelligent man (or I want to think so), man with passion, hobbies, ideas, style (hopefully).

And we were raised believing that we need a nice dress and nice shoes, and a fancy ride, and a driver, and we have to look great to go to the ball, and meet a prince.
Imagine if we wouldn't have nice shoes, how prince would be embarrassed to go around his kingdom looking for us with an ugly cheap not designer's shoe.
And we were raised to believe that a prince will always fall in love with a poor girl and it will be "happily ever after", or he will look for a frog to kiss and she will turn out to be a beauty, ohhhhhhhhhh, our favorite fairy tales, what have it done to us?!

So, money VS. no money?

Rich-super busy-no time for you at all-but-secure life-with-a-guy-who will never be yours VS. simple-humble life-with-a-totally-almost-perfect-guy-who-will-love-you-forever?!

Decisions....... decisions........... dreams......... dreams..........................