INTIMATE ENCOUNTERS..... FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS......

We are looking for our soulmate,
for our second half,
for "our" person,
"our guy",
"our man"......

We are all someone's half.
And one man and one woman make a couple,
but is it a "perfect match"?!

It is like a basket of apple's halves,
and if you take two halves they make an apple,
but it is two different halves,
the apple won't be perfect,
looks like a whole apple,
looks almost perfect,
but it doesn't match,
it is not two halves of the same apple.

And we are looking for this perfect match...
Two perfect halves.

And we would love to be honest, and open, and jump into the relationship and love, and enjoy, and experience, and live happily ever after when we meet that special person,
but since we were hurt and did mistakes and wrong choices so many times,
we are trying to protect our hearts by been distant, been discreet, been private, playing it safe, protecting ourselves.
And because of these walls it is not going anywhere,
we are not building anything,
we are destroying it with our own hands.
It is like you are planting a flower, but not adding any water, and you want this flower to survive, and you are unconsciously  not putting any efforts, because you are scared, because you do not want to be hurt again.

We are just playing it cool. We just pretend like we do not care, and we are looking for an easy way out, still dreaming about a soulmate, letting the fortune or a chance or life to figure it out itself.

We are getting involved with people, and we are trying so hard not to get involved,
we are going through dates trying to get through to our person.

We are becoming intimate encounters with some people,
we belong to them in that special moment of intimacy, putting away our souls, locking up our hearts, and just using our bodies, shutting off our minds, with the idea not to feel, not to love, not to belong, not to get attached.

We are scared to love, we are scared to open up and share our thoughts, our fears, our love.
People are selfish.
People lie that do not need each other.
People use people.
And in the vocabulary we see new phrases like "intimate encounters", "friends with benefits", "fling", "booty call", "one-night stand", "no strings attached", "open relationship", "drunk dial", "fwb" and etc.


We do not want to love or we are scared to love?!


What are we saving?! Souls? Hearts? 


Aren't we losing ourselves or pieces of ourselves, giving away every time piece by piece to people that come to our life and easily leave forever?!

LETS GIVE.......

We totally do not appreciate things when we have it,
and we realize the value of it when we are loosing it or when we lost it even worse.

We shouldn't do it with love or friendship.

It is cruel.

Why are we getting upset or angry at each other?!

Why do we get annoyed with each other?!

Why do we compete?!

Why do we get jealous?!

Why do we hate?

Why do we scream?

Why do we fight?




Relationships, marriages.....

Passion disappears,
sex disappears,
love becomes something else....

Why!?

Why do we take someone who was so special, so desirable, so wanted for granted?!

Why do we become selfish and we take and take, and take, and we want, want, want....

What happens with giving!? What?!

A "good bad guy" VS. a "bad good guy" ...

Another paradox, when we are ready for marriage,

and some of the women are always ready, lol, sorry,

many of us still falling for a wrong type of guys.

"Good" and "bad" guys?!

Most of us want a "good bad guy", not a "bad good guy" - 

yes,

there is a difference, 

LOL,

I bet, men will never get it.

Women!!!!!!

Sometimes I do not get them.

Sometimes we are looking for a bad guy, 

unconsciously of course, 

and we are falling for him (it is so easy to fall for a bad guy), 

wasting our time, 

wasting time of our friends crying on their shoulders when he hurts us, 

betrays us, 

and leaves. 

And we knew everything from the beginning. 

And it is all our fault. 

So many women actually into bad guys, and they are still surprised after many years why it is not working out with them. 

We do not learn lessons from own mistakes.

Sometimes we do not actually even notice nice guys, 

guys are all around and ready to make us happy. 

We do not like nice guys, VERY OFTEN,

it is boring, 

it is routine, 

it is no passion, 

it is plain, 

it is calm, 

it is gray, 

it is dull, 

it is no rainbows, 

no excitement. 

Oh!!!!!!!!

VS.

Bad guys!!!!!! 

Yeah, it is exciting!!! 

Wooohoooo! 

Bad guys attract trouble, 

fun, 

craziness, 

surprises, 

danger, 

party, 

people, 

they spice up our life...... 

yes, spice up our lives with drama, 

with tears, 

with games, 

with betrayal. 

And that is our fault. 

We knew it before getting involved. 

Do not say no, we did. 

But we picked a bad guy. Hoping that he will be a "good bad guy".

We picked adventure, a short adventure hoping to change our live, to spice it up. 

And when this short relationship is over, 

we are complaining how and where to meet a nice guy, 

a guy who cares, an honest, sweet, kind, open, 

nice guy. 

They do exist, you know. 

We just do not bet on them, we ignore them ("nice guys"), we are still hoping that we are such a special kind and we can change a bad guy into a "good bad guy", we can make them fall for us so ....... hard, that he will become....ohhhhhh... almost a nice guy - a "good bad guy" it is a transition between "a good bad guy" and "a nice guy".

God, women are so complicated.

 So, my dearest ladies, look around, do not waste your time, and go for a nice guy.

Forget about changing people, people do not change.

Forget about drama, you honestly do not need it.

Just forget about "bad guys", and "bad good guys", and even about "good bad guys".

Good luck!

the PERFECT MAN.....

We do get attracted to men who are:

independent,

stable,

secure,

strong,

brave,

handsome,

tall,

sexy,

achievers,

successful, 

gentleman and asshole at the right places and at the right time, 

adventurous,

generous, 

college and street smart at the same time,

great lovers,

best friends,

am I forgetting anything in "the perfect guy description"?!

smell good,

can cook,

organized,

clean,

stylish,

great shape,

take care of kids,

love our family,

family oriented,

loyal,

faithful,

dependable,

can be sweet,

caring,

understanding,

crazy about us,

intelligent,

passionate,

can discover the world to us,

know more,

protective,

supportive,

and etc.

I just have started this list.

You know why this men never get married, because they simply do not exist. 

We are looking, wasting our time, making a "check list", 

not been real,

not thinking what can we offer to "our perfect guy"?!

to our dreamy sweetheart?!

to our Mr. Right?!

can we offer a list of the great qualities?!

No one is perfect.

Are you perfect?!

I am not.

"MARRIAGE MATERIAL" TYPE AND "TO HAVE FUN WITH" TYPE.

I guess unconsciously we all use this types to characterize people.

It is probably nice to be in a "marriage material"category, when you are ready to get married.

Or may be it is just nice to be in this category all the time, because it means you are a good girl, right?!
Whatever it means...... lol
I do not know, I am pretty sure everyone has an own opinion.

When I was younger, I heard a lot that I am a "marriage material", and it sounded as a verdict to me,  you feel like something is wrong with you, and it sounds so boring, and no fun.

When we are super young, innocent, inexperienced, pure, shy, good girls - we are a "marriage material", and when we are getting older, wiser, stronger, social, open, straight forward, experienced - we are moving to a "to have fun with" type.

And a "marriage material" and "to play with" categories are over rated, because whatever works for you might not work for me. 

And there is a right person for everyone, we just have to keep our eyes open, we have to be ready when we are ready, lol.......

WE NEED EACH OTHER....

People are everywhere.
People see people everyday.
People deal with people every day.
People depend on people.
People can not live without people.
People need people.

And people can not meet people.

 It is hard to meet people.

We need each other, but we pretend we do not.
People lie about needing and wanting other people.
And may be we need each other for different reasons,
but we do need each other.

We want to be strong, brave, different, superior, we get attitudes, we get bossy voices, some of us pretend to be who we are not, some of us act like we are happy on our own by ourselves and we do not need anyone.

 Why do we lie to each other,
or why do we lie to ourselves?!

We all can be nice or nicer,
we all can be loving and understanding,
and think beautifully,
and act politely,
and dream not selfishly,
and be happier,
and smile more,
and not to get angry,

and we will make the world a better place for each other.

What do you think?!

I HATE AND LOVE LA.

When people ask me how do I like LA, I always say one day I hate it and one day I love it.

It is so easy to love it,

yes: ocean,

ocean views,

beach,

Pacific Coast Highway,

Hollywood,

weather,

great hikes,

Beverly Hills,

Rodeo Drive,

healthy lifestyle,

beautiful people,

movie industry,

and it is so easy to hate it:

pretentious places and people,

every waiter is an actor,

and every waitress is an actress or a model,

every single person at the coffee shop is a director or producer,

 traffic,

roommates,

over rated parties,

over rated guest lists,

red carpet events...lol...

everyone wants to be discovered,

everyone feels so special,

everyone has the same dream,

everyone feels lucky,

empty souls.............

I feel like no one works in LA.

No matter what time you go for coffee/lunch/drink/dinner,

there are always people,

do not you people work?!

Everyone complains about LA, but no one leaves.

Many people have temporary jobs and big dreams.

No one takes LA seriously, but everyone is so important in their own eyes here.

LA changes us, LA makes us to adjust local life style, local rules, local fashion, local dreams, ideas.

LA is so powerful, in a couple of years living here we do not notice how we are becoming a part of LA,

LA breaks us,

LA makes us,

LA overpowers us.

Each LA area has a different attitude, different life style.

Go to Hollywood,

hot and sweaty, gay people,

trashy areas,

nice areas,

party people,

dog walkers,

dog's fashion,

Sunset strip,

attitude,

dress code,

fancy places where people want to be seen,

Ferraris parked right in front of the place to show - yes, bitches, it is what i have gotten, suck it.....

people sit and eat at the walkways,

just to be seen,

 showing off.....

who really cares?!

 tell me who?!

They do.

Because they spend 50 bucks on lunch and they want the world to know.

Go to Venice,

 lay back,

down to earth,

easy going,

surfers,

artists,

skaters,

happy hour low key places,

horrible food,

shorts and bikinis,

tanned, crazy people,

loud music in by passing cars,

no parking on weekends,

trashy outfits,

beach lifestyle.

LA didn't pick you, you picked LA.

And you better stay strong and do not loose yourself,

do not get trapped,

and if you are weak - just run, run away........

to save yourself and your soul.

I feel like some people becoming soulless in LA. It is like a devil making some kind of deal with them.

I HATE LA AND I LOVE LA.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

BREAK UP RULES..... Apples and cherries....

I think it is should be a book..... yes, yes, a book of "proper break ups", so no one gets hurt.
Don't you hate break ups?!
My girlfriend's boyfriend broke up with her over the email, she was devastated, won't you be?!
I mean after been with a person for about a year do you think it is fair?!
Break up phone call.... break up email, break up letter.....
hmmmmmm.......
no break up at all?! ha ha ha.
Why do people get together, like each other, get into the relationships at all?!
What is the point if break up is unavoidable.....
Everything ends.......
It is a circle, rule of life....
It starts, develops, ends.
There are so many choices.
I mean who wants to eat apples all life, if there are cherries, and pineapples, and oranges, and peaches, and raspberries, and blueberries........
you are getting the point, right?!
 Who wants to go on vacations just to Bora Bora, every year, just Bora Bora,
nope,
boring,
routine,
you are excited first time,
may be second one,
but after that you want something different.
The same with people, with relationships.
It is exciting when it is fresh, when it is new.
And after that it is a circle, we add routine, we add fights, we add arguments, misunderstanding, mismatching, raised voices, tears, slammed doors, nights without sleep, disappointment, and it is over, ruined, finished, ended.
It has to be an agreement couples have to sign before to get into the relationship,
like a marriage agreement before the wedding.
Couples have to agree on how they are going to break up.
Like "no break up emails", or "no cheating before breaking up", or "no screaming, crying, fighting". Or "break ups only on Mondays and Thursdays from 10 am until 2pm", or "no break ups when I am hungry", or "no break ups when I am pms-ing".......
What do you think?!

"THE LOOK"............

DO YOU KNOW "THE LOOK" I AM TALKING ABOUT?! You know....... the look...... when a stranger looks in your eyes and you stop breathing, you are getting butterflies in your stomach, you are ready to change everything in your life, you are ready to follow him, you are ready to scream, to love, to get married, to have kids with HIM, with this stranger, because you have shared a special moment, a very intimate moment, moment that you have been thinking doesn't exist, romantic movie's kind of moment. I am pretty sure men have no idea what moment I am talking about.
Actually, I am scared of "that look", of that moment. Because what if you are married, and you meet HIM, and you are ready to give up everything for a person you do not even know, or what if you are married with kids...... yes...... life..... decisions, decisions.........
I had this moment on a plane, with a total stranger who was sitting a couple rows in front of me. I didn't expect it, just when our eyes met, I had all the symptoms. I almost stopped breathing, I couldn't stop looking at him, looking at each other you share life stories, your hopes and fears.....everything, it is more intimate than having sex, honestly, it is. You feel like this person gets you, accepts you, knows who you are, the way you are, you feel like this person cares. God, how crazy it is. And I am sure everyone who never had this moment would think that I am crazy. It is real!!!! It is!!!!!
What happened with "my stranger" you would ask...... yeah.... I blew it..... Yes, we kept looking at each other all flight, but we never spoke to each other, we shared a few glances, and that's it. We smiled to each other at the airport picking up our luggage and that's it. Were we too scared? Or we just didn't want to believe in purity of what was happening?! May be he was married (no ring though).........
The point of it is do what you feel like doing, follow your heart, you do not want to end up worrying what might have happened, you do not want to wonder "what if". Do not be afraid of rejection or changes, or something new. Life is too short.